Your room, my room, our room?

I was so thrilled when my kids finally seemed to notice each other when they were about six months old.  The first time they laughed at each other was a shining moment, for sure.  Now that they almost play with each other (OK, so they grab each other’s toys and ears, but it’s a start), I just love it.  The two of them giggling and babbling at each other is one of the best parts about having twins so far.

Sometimes, though, it’s a little too much fun.  Like at nap time.  Oh my lord.  For two babies who used to not even notice each other, now they can’t be stopped.  Their cribs are lined up end-to-end in the little room they share, and now that they can both crawl around and stand up, it’s party time.  Sometimes, when I hear them shrieking at each other over the monitor, it’s hilariously cute.  45 minutes later, when Rebecca has finally fallen asleep and Daniel is standing at the edge of his crib, glaring down at her, and screaming… not as much.  And he has been fighting the afternoon nap tooth and nail for the last week (they’re only 11 months, and definitely not ready to drop a nap).  Once or twice he has skipped it entirely, other times he takes anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes to finally go to sleep.  The resulting nap (if there is one) isn’t great, so it makes for a rough rest of the day.

It gets me wondering, as I occasionally do, exactly why I have them sharing a room and how long I want to continue doing it.  Back in the days when they were still waking up at night a lot and taking bottles two or three times, I really preferred having them in the same place.  We went through a phase when M freaked out that they were waking each other up, so we separated them, and it drove me nuts.  Because they’d still wake up at the same time, so now I had to be two different places to soothe or feed them.  No thanks, back in the same room they went.  We kept them right next to each other when we Ferberized, and that really did help them learn to sleep through each other’s noises.  And I really do like the idea of these two little kids sharing their room.  I like that they entertain each other, that they make each other laugh.

Except, you know, when I want them to shut up and GO TO SLEEP!

So that’s when I wonder.  Why, truly, do I have them in the same room?  Is it better for them?  Better for me?  Or does it just seem cute but is entirely impractical for the sake of sleep?  The main problem is really naps.  At night, they go down pretty well.  But sometimes those naps… ooh, man.  And maybe separating them wouldn’t help, and it would turn out that Daniel’s just in the midst of a nap strike regardless of who else is in the room.  Hopefully it’ll pass, but I know this is something I’m going to come back to over and over again in the next few years…

— — —

Cross-posted at How Do You Do It?



Filed under Child Development, Home, Infants, Sleep

4 responses to “Your room, my room, our room?

  1. My son was a fussy napper. We often put him in the playpen in the living room away from his sister. I always insisted on “quiet time” after lunch though, napping or not (I needed it!).

    Priceless pictures, especially that last one.

  2. cheryllage

    Six and a half years in the same room, and counting! 😉 We do have fits and flurries of “Mom, tell him to be quiet, I’m trying to sleep,” and “Dad, Sarah keeps bugging me;” but more often than not we hear nightly pre-sleep giggles, we know they have non-parental reassurance upon bad-dream wake-ups knowing they’re not “alone,” and we can peek in from the door as we go to bed and see them sleeping sweetly.

    On their seventh birthday, they’ve indicated they’d like a bigger (our guest room) space, but to continue to share.

    Kids’ benefit? Parents benefit? For us, I think it’s both!

    Those images are way too precious! 🙂

  3. christinab

    I’ve got my B/G sharing a room right now. We have two bedrooms on the main floor and three on the second floor, and we are all on the main floor right now. I’m not ready to haul my butt up the stairs yet, and its nice having them right next door to us. Plus, we have some insulation issues upstairs, and it needs to be fixed before the rooms will be liveable year-round. I’m sure we’ll split themup at some point, just not sure when.

    We’ve got similar issues as you, where its really only at naptime when they tend to disturb each other. I’ve decided to put one of them in a pack ‘n play when they start to riot, that way at least they are separated and whoever is loud that day won’t disturb the sleeper. Nightime isn’t really a problem (crosses fingers).

  4. My 3.5 B/G twins are still in the same room. Might be why they stopped napping before they turned two, but…Maggie was DONE with napping and would keep Burke awake, but Burke would refuse to sleep if Maggie wasn’t there…catch 22 if I ever saw one.

    Mornings were great – they’d entertain each other for a LOOOONG time before I had to go in and start the day. (I’m so not a morning person.) I don’t think they would have been as content for as long if the hadn’t been together.

    At some point, we figure we’ll throw Burke and Logan in the same room and let Maggie have her own, but for now – they seem to like hangin’ together before sleeping and then again when they wake up.

    VERY cute pics, btw 🙂

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