Like a big gay hug

A brief pause from twin talk (there will be more later today, we’re off to the pediatrician this morning), so that I can say HOORAY, CALIFORNIA!  Unless you’re living under a rock (apparently, a rock with internet access?), you have already heard that the California Supreme Court struck down the state’s marriage law banning same-sex couples from marrying, saying yet again that separate is NOT equal.

I live in Massachusetts, where same-sex couples have been allowed to get married for almost exactly four years.  And let me tell you something groundbreaking: the world has not ended.  We have not been struck by lightning, our buildings have not crumbled.  “Traditional” marriages have not gone by the wayside.  Our children are no less safe.  What did happen?  People who want to spend their lives together, pay taxes together, raise kids together, and be there for each other in sickness and health, have been allowed to do just that. Have there also probably been some foolish matches, people who rushed into it without thinking carefully, relationships that ended?  Um, yes.  And how is that any different from what the straight folks do?  That’s what I thought.  If anything, it was a boom for the local economy!  My former boss is a church organist, and he made a killing that first summer, along with the florists and the caterers. 🙂

Honestly, I just don’t understand the people who are anti-gay-marriage.  I mean, I suppose I get the homophobia.  But the ridiculous argument that I heard this morning on the Today show, that “redefining marriage to include same-sex couples undermines the very meaning of marriage,” is just insanity.  I suppose the basis for this argument is that marriage is for the creation of children.  OK, then what about couples who struggle with infertility?  Or those who just plain decide not to have kids?  Do they not deserve to be married, either?  Ugh.

Nope, the court got it right.  “providing a separate designation for same-sex couples … perpetuates the notion that gay individuals are second-class citizens.”  And that’s just plain unacceptable.  I can only hope this ruling sticks, and California can find out what we learned here on the East Coast a few years ago: the sky does not fall.  Why not let two men or two women live their lives together with the same protections someone else has?  It hurts NO ONE.

I can only hope my kids grow up knowing that what’s important is to be kind, responsible, and thoughtful. I hope they believe enough in their own value that they choose a person to love who loves them back, treats them with respect, compliments and challenges them in all the best ways.  Regardless of whether that person is a man or a woman.

And here’s to hoping that Massachusetts and California serve like a big, tolerant hug for the rest of the country.  I think we could use a few more of those.  Yes, I know that there are large swaths of people who think MA and CA are two of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, but if that’s the case, maybe the apocalypse won’t be so bad!  Ooh, am I going to hell for that one?  Hrm, don’t believe in hell.  Sweet…



Filed under Politics

7 responses to “Like a big gay hug

  1. HEAR HEAR! I would have posted something similar but the birthdays were pretty important to post about instead. Having lived in California for 8 years, I’m proud to call that state a previous home.

  2. Tara

    Hell yeah!

  3. Marci

    It’s great that the states are moving in this direction, albeit at a snail’s pace, and I certainly hope my states (NY & IL) will join the trend too, but unfortunately, it’s going to take a long time to get the federal government in on this one and until then, none of these marriages will be recognized for tax purposes. For one, that means no pre-tax deductibility on health insurance premiums. There are countless other examples but I won’t bore you with the tax code. Just expressing a bittersweet hooray because we still have so far to go.

  4. Lisa

    What I like most about what the California Supreme Court did was adding langauge that if you marry in California, and if you move to another state, that the marriage is still legal. That will obviously cause more lawsuits which will test that, and I am sure there will be more referendums across this country to keep this out of certain states (sadly, I live in one–TN–which passed a man/woman marriage law last year), but this is certainly a huge step in the right direction. I hope that when our children are old and have children themselves, this will be a non-issue. Yeah California!

  5. I remember writing about this when it went down. Then again, I’m a commie pinko from Massachusetts, so what do I know, right?

  6. I just came across your post (one of the “possibly related posts” WordPress puts at the bottom of posts). I have to say as well, very well said. I think you’re spot on. It does my heart good to know that not everyone out there in a “traditional” marriage doesn’t think their marriages are somehow de-valued.

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